Makes you think....

I was just taking my dog for her afternoon walk before I have to go to work and I recognized a woman on the street.

She was the new mother of a baby who was a patient of mine a few weeks ago.  I remember it so vividly because her brand new baby tragically died, no real cause of death found.  It hit us all very hard in the ER.  Most of the staff that morning left in tears.  The hardest part was the sobbing of the mom when it all ended.

It surprised me a bit to see her today.  She was walking along on the street.  Seemingly enjoying the same beautiful weather as everyone else.  I guess I was surprised because, though we see people at the height of their illness or sadness in the ER, there is no follow up.  Had I not see her on the street, continuing to exist, she would forever be etched in my mind as the weeping, tragic-stricken woman of that night in the ER.  I forget that people have to go back to their lives.  

I had to think about myself.  God forbid, had that happened to me, I'm not sure if I would be walking around, just a few short weeks later.  I looked at her outfit, expecting to see mismatched and carelessness, but it was put together well.  I looked at her hair - does she have the heart to even touch it in the morning?  It looked normal.  Everything about her was normal. She even wore make-up.  And then it made me think about the hundreds of people we see every single day on the streets of NYC (or whatever town).  They all have a story.  At any given moment someone may be dealing with a heavy heart full of pain.  But they get dressed and wear make-up and do their hair.  And we have no idea.

It made me feel silly for the times I moan about my bad day.  And all the times I wished for rain, simply to justify staying in bed and moping about some nonsense or another.  It made all the times I just got out of bed, put on some mascara and dealt with it more justified.  Because nothing is going to stop the calender.  Even when you wish it could.  Even when you think "why me?  Why can't the world just stop and see what I've been through?"

I said a small prayer for her.  That she's as calm on the inside as she looked on the outside.  And then I realized "Life goes on" isn't just a cliche or a Beatles song.  It's kind of true.